Choosing to be an intentional mother, choosing to slow down in life and truly enjoy motherhood can be so hard. The pressure of motherhood is extreme, especially in this day and age. We have the pressure to "do it all," be everything our children need, be the best at homemaking, make each meal as healthy as possible, have a thriving marriage, and help bring in a big income to relieve your husband of any stress. This view of motherhood leaves us drained and full of guilt.
I tried to do all the things but only landed in the realm of disaster, stress, and no joy. There was something different that I wanted-something different than what this world of mothers were trying to sell to me. I needed things to slow down. I needed more joy and more connection with my kids. Less stress and less time working. So here is why I'm choosing a slower, more intentional way of mothering my home.
The Pressure to Always Be Productive
If anyone can write about this topic, it would be me. My brain is constantly thinking up ways to be more productive, to get more things done in a day, and to work constantly with no breaks. Rest is not for me, I thought. But I was wrong. You see, the problem is our mindset. We think that the more we work, the busier we are, the more we have on our to-do list, the more productive we are and the closer we get to the home we want to create. But that's far from the truth. We all want a home that runs well and ultimately, a home that is full of peace, love, and joy. That cannot come to fruition when we are constantly busy. But we feel too guilty to sit down and rest! Isn't resting a waste of time? Far from it! Taking a rest should not make you feel guilty. If it does, we have some work to do and hopefully by the end of this post, you will have changed your mind about rest and productivity. Homemaking felt like a race to me when I wasn't setting intentional time to rest. Homemaking is a calling and should not feel like a constant rat race.
What Intentional "Mothering the Home" Means to Me
Mothering the home to me means nurturing the home and the people in it. It means cultivating a place that is peaceful and beautiful. Serving the ones I love with intentionality and care and slowing down enough to notice their needs and the simple beauty around me. It means striving to serve the way Christ served. Always looking to Him for courage, wisdom, and direction on how to serve and love my home. Mothering the home has nothing to do with perfection; but everything to do with a heart that longs to love and serve. It's about slowing down and being intentional with everything.
Small, Intentional Ways to Implement This
- lighting a candle at meal times to switch up the atmosphere from chaos to peace
- reading aloud before bed time
- simple homemade meals
- asking fun questions at meal times
- keeping gentle rhythms instead of rigid schedules
- spending one-on-one time with each kid for a few minutes each day
Why I Started Choosing Slower Rhythms and Intentional Motherhood
I started being a more intentional mother by getting more intentional with what I was doing every day. There was still a lot to be done each week and each day, but I wondered if I could slow down my life a bit and still get the needed things done. I gave it a try and this is what I started doing:
- simplifying routines
- reducing clutter
- spending less time on screens and more time intentionally listening to the many conversations around me
- letting go of perfectionism and ending the comparison game
- choosing consistency over intensity
- creating a routine for each task that needed to be done each week and sticking through with it
- choosing one day a week to fully rest
The Changes I've Noticed in Our Home
I have found that homemaking is a lot more enjoyable when I'm being intentional and actually slowing down and seeing the things around me, instead of constantly seeing the things that need to get done. I'm a better mom when I have this mindset. I feel like I can be present at times of the day where I couldn't be before. And my kids have been changing too. They know our routines and rhythms and they flow with them. They understand how our home runs and they work alongside to make sure it runs that way. No, they don't always do it with joyful attitudes, but there's no more pushing back and surprise when it's time for them to work or do their school: they know how the home runs and therefore, there are no surprises. There is less stress and more peace. There's more rest and time for connection with the ones that are most important in life.
Slow Homemaking Doesn't Mean Doing Everything Perfect
Choosing a more intentional way of homemaking does not mean my home runs perfectly now. My home is still lived in and there are plenty of days when it's a total mess. But this way of living is more about priorities, atmosphere, and connection, not performance. It's getting rid of the mindset of, "How much can I get done today?" to "Let's work with intention and play with intention."
Simple Ways to Begin Slowing Down at Home
It all sounds pretty nice but let's get to the real practical stuff:
- start one simple daily rhythm
- leave margin in the mornings for connection building (or afternoons if it fits your lifestyle more)
- put your phone away at specific times during the day
- simplify cleaning routines (or start a cleaning routine if you don't have one already)
- start implementing a 1-3 hour quiet time during the day
- declutter and organize the home, one room at a time
- focus on presence over productivity
- give your kids daily jobs and get them involved in homemaking
- say no to busyness
- choose a few meaningful homemaking habits to start implementing
Conclusion
I'm still learning what intentional homemaking looks like in this busy season of life, but I no longer want a hurried home. I want a home where love, peace, and presence are felt in the everyday moments. Homemaking is valuable work, let's do it well!
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